Tag Archives: Wish

Grandpa!!!


He would have been as tall as Akshay Kumar.. And, his built, similar to Late Mr. Sunil Dutt (as I have estimated after looking at the old snapshots). By now, he would have turned 90 (My grandma is 82.. so, another guess).. Even at the this age, I believe, he would still have been muscular!

 All that I know about my grand father is through my grandma’s narrations, old video CDs of his children’s wedding and my own imagination! My parents don’t like to talk about him because it makes them emotionally weak, they feel miserable.. They still don’t want to believe that he is no more. As for me, it was not hard to accept because he passed away in 1989 and I was born 2 years later!

Late Shri Sitaram Sabu, was born in Udaipurwati when India was under British rule.. Maa (Grandma) does not remember his birthdate (I wanna know his sun-sign). They got married when Maa was 12 years old (this she remembers, huh!) and he would have been 20 (this she assumed).

He had lived in Rajasthan, Kolkata, Bangladesh, Pakistan, Tamil Nadu and Madhya Pradesh (Indore). He was a part of the Indian struggle for independence. They had 8 children.. 5 boys (2 of whom met their end in childhood) and 2 girls. He was a wonderful, a dependable father to all his children alike and the cutest grandfather to my siblings. I’m the only child in my generation who was unable to meet him, see him.. who was neither pampered nor blessed by him..

This does not make me sad, but deep inside I have this longing.. that if only.. he was there to teach me to speak, to walk, to eat with my own hands.. to scold me if I did something wrong and later, try to convince me to talk to him.. to buy me new clothes every now and then and tell my mom off, if she complained.. to bring me chocolates without any occasions, to give me his collection of stamps as a keepsake (which I have already obtained from my father).. to tell his tale and basically love his smallest, cutest, and most adorable grand-daughter.. I just feel that I was deprived of such a lovely relationship, every time I come across a grand-dad and his little angel in his arms, or find someone who looks like a grand-father!

He was gone before I came, yet I never complain.. I don’t know why!! Knowing about him brings tears in my eyes, but it never makes me unhappy.. I don’t know why!! I never met him, yet I miss him.. I don’t know why!! I dunno him, yet I love him.. .. I don’t know why!! (Please tell me if you have the answers). My closest guess is that there’s a part of him in me which does not like to see me upset..

I know you can’t read this but I hope you do Bauji!

Pranaam

Pinky 🙂 


I’ll Try..


The only time I feel frustrated and helpless is when people, who are close to me (my family, my friends) do not get my drift. I’m going through the same right now. Every single nerve and muscle of my body, especially my brain.. is shouting at the top of its voice..

“I want you to understand what I am thinking right now..” 

 The only problem is I am not able to explain exactly what I am thinking right now. Now, this should not be a problem with a person who wants to become a famous writer/novelist/lyricist one day. But, it is! And this is because I don’t want to speak my brain out and yet want the listener to understand what it is thinking, on their own. Here, I am assuming that this person has a wonderful observation power and a keen intellect.

Another major reason for this is that my friends understand me so well. They just look into my eyes and get the point. or read my expressions and body language.. and at times the unintelligible words that i mumble impatiently!!

And today, I need the strength to speak it out, explain it to that person, whom I really want to get the picture clearly now. God bless me!!


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