Happy Woman’s Day!!


So, it’s woman’s day.. and here I am.. This is me.. Posting about.. One of the strongest (in terms of emotions) women I know.. who inspire me..

On 23rd feb 2011, I posted.. I was the eldest daughter of my parents… I would suggest you read that one first. (The link above will redirect you there!)

All that she went through is nothing compared to the sorrows in my life.. Yet she would always be more than happy to share my problems and try to solve them… Behind her benevolent smile.. you could definitely see a shadow of the dark times she had faced.. But that could happen only if she would let you probe her eyes… and if you had the ability to dig deep.. And she would never allow me to do that!!

‘You are too young to know my reality’, she would say! (HUH!!)

So, what kept her happy 90% of the time? I asked her 2 years back, ‘How, Ma’am how.. What keeps you going through all of this?’

She asked, ‘Why do you bother?’

‘I said, ‘ISN’T IT OBVIOUS? I AM CONCERNED ABOUT YOU BECAUSE I LOVE YOU MA’AM… I CARE FOR YOU!!’ … That was it… My moment of epiphany.. She looked at me, her face flashing the same warm smile.. Reality struck me and somewhere deep inside my heart a something hit so hard, I had never felt so cold before and yet so amazed .. She was happy because even after all these years of mental torture and loss, there were people who really truly loved her.. And one of them, was me!!

She always used to say how great she felt when her children (students) touched her feet, greeted her with affection, approached her in the troubled times, thanked her after the results were out and the never-ending list of such experiences!

She tried to avoid those negative feelings which comprised more than half of her life till now, and used to cherish the love she used to receive from her students! I had never thought about this earlier. I was always like.. I knew parts of her story.. that I overheard while my mother was discussing it with my grandma! I wanted her to speak it out in front of me.. I wanted her to share it with me, like I shared everything with her!

So, one day.. I forced it out of her.. without thinking once that how distressing it might be for her.. that those memories will haunt her insides while recounting them all over again.. Wasn’t it enough that she had suffered once while living through it? Why was I so curious? Why the hell I did not think about it once!!! Well, I was in class 7th when I had asked her.. so I guess, it’s justified. 😛

Her answer as I had mentioned earlier included the following phrases:

I was the eldest daughter of my parents. I raised my younger brothers and sisters after my parents died! I could not get married because I had responsibilities.  Now, they call me up once in a blue moon,  just to check if I am still alive, or not! I met with a major accident at the age of 26 and my face was completely damaged… Before that, I used to be a beautiful woman! I helped my friend (whom I loved) marry his girlfriend after that accident. I financed some acquaintances when they needed money, they are all rich today, but they never bother to return the loans.

It had rattled my cage, when I saw her composed expressions while narrating the miserable episodes of her life back then. But today, I understand the reason behind every single reaction she gave me!

How positive a person can be..?? As positive as she is.. cause I have written it in short but, she suffered through all this for more than 25 years and still she did not lose hope… So there are no limits to optimism.!! She never went into depression because she tried to find beauty in the darkness, and she did.. She tried to enjoy every day like it’s her last.. She began teaching and it was self-satisfying to build futures. What could be better than that? She loved her students like her own children, and they loved her back.. And she knew that their love was for real and forever!! This is how she made it possible and this is how she is still able to survive!!

PS
Once we had a bet.. she said I’ll forget her when I’ll be at the peak of my career.. and I was like that is impossible.. The bet is still on Ma’am.. I’ll never forget you and it’s only you who will be credited with my success in anything that I achieve ever!! I’ll make it sure!

I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART!!

Yours truly.

Pinky 🙂

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Life is better, when you decide you don’t care!


Life is better, when you decide you don’t care.. 

It might sound bookish, or may be impractical.. But, it actually works!!!! When you love the life you live and live the life you love.. you’ll find yourself content with wherever you are, whoever you are, whatever you do!!!

When u simply don’t care…………. nobody can affect you, change you, trouble you, or irritate you…………. and you’ll be your true self……….. Love like your heart is unbreakable, live like you only have today and act like every dream will come true………………. This is what is required for a perfect life………. Wish for nothing extra and trust me, you’ll be truly blessed!!!!!

May be a time comes when you find yourself in a big mess, a time might come when you realize that you’ve made a blunder 😦 ……….. So what???? Everybody makes mistakes……….. but by not learning from it, and cursing yourself for it would be the worst thing to do in that situation………….. Think the other way round………… Even after that, you can say…………. I did what i wanted to and YES, I’VE MADE A BIG MISTAKE!!!! But at least I had the guts to do what I wanted to and I had an EXPERIENCE; I fell down, OK……. But I’ll pick myself right back up, dust myself off, and work for perfection. :-]

Life is what you make it……… So make sure that you go for whatever you wish to do…….. Have no burnt bridges, no stones unturned and most importantly of all make sure to have no regrets…….. Life is short………….FOLLOW YOUR HEART, AND FOLLOW IT NOW!!!! And because life is really short, break your heart into small pieces.. send them here and there and follow all those pieces.. And please DO NOT FORGET TO USE YOUR BRAIN to track those pieces (says my friend) :-]

You can’t control people, their thoughts, but you can control how you react to them!!! It isn’t their life……….ITS TOTALLY YOURS!!!! In the end you’ll be all by yourself and at that time, when you look back………..you should have no wish unfulfilled…………

And remember the following lyrics from the song ‘Welcome To Wherever You Are‘ by Bon

Jovi:

THIS IS YOUR LIFE, YOU MADE IT THIS FAR….

YOU’VE GOTTA BELIEVE, RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW…

YOU ARE EXACTLY WHERE YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE!!!!

BE WHO YOU WANT TO, BE WHO YOU ARE!!!!

WHEN YOU WANNA GIVE UP, WHEN YOUR HEART IS ABOUT BREAK…

REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE PERFECT, GOD MAKES NO MISTAKES!!!!


#Sometimes You Need To..


Sometimes You Need To Make..

A Prayer, Just Before You Flake!!

Sometimes You Need To Laugh On Your Own Mistake..

Declare Yourself Idiot And Go For A Retake!!

Sometimes You Need To Take A Break..

Leaving Everything You Own, At Stake!!

Sometimes You Need To Simply Sit Back..

Close Your Eyes, Relax; Yet, Stay Awake!!

Sometimes You Need To Listen To That..

Lullaby.. Your Mother Used To Chant!!

Sometimes You Need To Go Back..

Far Far Down The Memory Lane!!

Sometimes You Need To Recollect..

Or Plainly Look At That Keepsake!!

Sometimes You Need To Be Yourself Again..

For No One Else But Your Own Sake!!

Sometimes You Need To Stop Being Fake..

Only Then Things Will Be Jake!!


Smiling Tears.. That Made Me Strong!!


18-02-2012

I was filling the form of a competitive exam in Axis Bank (it’s the last date to submit the form) when an extraordinarily beautiful girl walked in. Snow white skin, sharp features, light brown hair and the slightest hint of blue in her eyes. Yeah her eyes were blue and so was she. It seemed that she had cried them out until a minute ago! But, why? :/ 😦 I did not like it.. The moment I had this urge to make her happy somehow, I noticed, a smile was starting to spread from her lips.. which gleamed in her eyes the next moment.. and a tear dropped down from one of those… But this time, there was an expression of relief on her face.. she seemed to have won a long fought cause and the struggle just got over.. And yet, she was unable to decide whether to weep in joy or dissolve into laughter!! I felt triumphant 🙂 for her victory and realized that I was yearning to know what just happened to her?

I guess I know now, why I felt connected.. This is what made me sense a deja-vu when I finally convinced my father to send me out for further studies!! I had spent last few days of my life wondering that my problems won’t ever end. If I’ll solve one, another much difficult trouble will head my way. It was simply pathetic to feel so miserably weak! It was then when I met Sana….

She took the same form from the reception and came to sit beside me! Mmmmm.. Nice fragrance.. CK I suppose! I was wanting to talk to her but she spoke before I could find the right words. It was a child-like voice, the way it sounds when they wake up and rub their sleep from their eyes!! Soft, lazy.. but, strong.. a little more than a murmur! She enquired about what details to fill in. I explained it to her and it was strangely satisfying to have helped her! There was a battle going on in my mind.. a battle between my decency and my curiosity! Should I ask her the cause of her sorrow and then, how she overcame it? As usual, the boring and irritating.. decent me, prevailed!

Now, as soon as I gave my curiosity, the instructions to shut it up.. She spoke again.. this time her voice more composed and even.. But, there was the sound of a longing.. a desire to express herself.. to let the cat out of the bag in-front of some stranger.. and feel easier in her mind.. She told me all about it.. That she was an MBA aspirant just like I was.. How she had gone for further studies to some other city and her parent’s brought her back within a month.. That she had a hard time convincing her family, that all she wants is two years from her own life.. That she will not run away with just anyone.. That she will come back home after she was done with her master’s degree.. That she will marry the guy of their choice and not her own!!

How sick.. but true.. You have to take permission to live your own life from those who have already lived more than half of theirs!! This problem is faced by a lot many Indian girls.. But, the scenario is changing.. slowly and steadily!!!

Anyways, she was happy now.. her family convinced.. all the arrangements made.. all she had to do was clear this management entrance test.. and get out of this web where she was entangled for almost 21 years!! I kept listening all this while, “hmmmm’ing” and “ohhh..okay’ing”, time and again! Her struggle story gave me more strength than her success story.. This is what helped me try.. to talk to my dad.. This is what made me think positive again.. I’ll always be thankful to her!!

I’m glad I met you Sana..

You are an inspiration to me!!

All the very best for the rest of your life!!

May you get all that you deserve and wish for!

Hugs.. Priyanka!!


My Reply To Eris


I was a little disturbed a while ago.. But my conviction that every time you enter a crisis.. you step out stronger.. If one door is closed in your face.. There’s no use standing there disappointed.. Either break that door or turn around to find other open ones!! I did not lose hope.. I tried and it worked!! Here’s the story:

Dear Eris,

Your poem blew away my mind.!!

Its amazing how a poetry of mine..

Fetched another one of it’s kind.!!

So I’ll tell you what made me jive..

In the simplest words that I could find.!!

I was sitting with him in the dining hall..

He’s my father.. I’m his doll.!! (:p)

He’s a li’l conservative and I’m off the wall!!

You might not find it interesting at all..

It was a stainless steel glass after-all..

Which contained a yogurt-based..

Popular Punjabi (Indian) beverage..

Lassi” is what.. it is called!!

It keeps your body cool and brain relaxed!!

This is a harsh piece of information..

But this is what always happens..

To a lot of girls who are Indians..

They get married after graduation..

But, I want to go out for higher eduation..

My family had their own objections!!

All my elder sisters thought…

That there is no hope..

But again as I said…

I convinced my dad..

He told me of his fears..

When you talk, doubt clears..

I tried and it worked..

It worked because I tried..

I know it’s not rhyming too..

But, I’m sure now you see..

I was hiding nothing..

I just could not frame..

My words back then..

But, your lines inspired mine..

And we have another of it’s kind!!

This was the only way..

I could hug you back..

Now to write would be like to play!!

I’m glad to have found a blogging friend.. in you!!

PS

Thanks a lot!! 😀

Cheers!!


Eris is all curious!!


When I said I’ll try, Eris saw!!

When I said I tried and it worked.. Eris was happy.. and curious.. Let’s se what s/he has to say:

Oh, what did you try?
What did you try?
Now you’ve got me all curious.
Poetry, poetry- what is it you’ve done?
You can’t answer in a poem and expect that I’ll run-
Away from the chance to ask
I want to know what it is that you tried
And what drink you had in your flask
Was it cherry or mango or apple-like juice
Or more of an alcoholic tint
I just can’t think what it might have been
Did you enjoy a tea with mint?
No! It’s all private Eris, why can’t you see?
You’re prying too fast and too hard
Let the poor gal have a chance to be
Before she breaks into shards.

The drink isn’t important, it’s what you did!
You said that soon you would try
I want to know what you’ve gone and hid
But my manner is far too un-shy
Then again that’s how you were is it not?
You’ve shown valor and courage abound
By trying that thing that you said you would do
I find myself strangely proud
I know it won’t rhyme if I put it like that
I suppose I don’t really care
I’m happy you’ve reached for and found success
But sad I can’t be there
To hug. <3

Oh well. Have a silly poem in return!
May your days be as exuberant as ever!
-Eris

PS: Rockin' moral! I can dig that all the way out
of the ground and take it home with me. <3

PS: You must visit the fluid gender’d author’s blog once and spend some time there!! S/He is very hospitable! 🙂


I Tried and It Worked!!


I felt so vulnerable..
But, thought I'll be able..
To speak what's in my mind..
So, over the beverage..
I gathered all my courage..

I told him what I think..
In an eye's blink..
He was patient and kind..
He kept his point of view..
I sensed a deja vu!!

I had seen this now and then..
In my dreams, but when..
It's really happening this time..
I felt a rush of joy..
I'm free now, Oh boy!!!

I tried and it worked..
It worked because I tried..
And all this while..
I thought it will never happen..
But now I know, I was mistaken!!

P.S.

When I said, I’ll try, I was pretty nervous.. But, now that I’ve tried, and it has really worked.. I want you all to know that even if you do not know the story, you should know its moral. 😛

Moral of the story: Do not quit without trying for a while! 🙂


In Memory Of “Lemo”


She’s angry because she had to bathe

My first bird friend..
A lovely parakeet...
As 'big' as my hand..
With feathers that were green...
And markings that were black..
She was so charming...
Great time we had..
Was used to hand-feeding...
That little young maid..
At times she was a darling...
Her mandible I would pat..
And sometimes so annoying...
She would turn away her back!!!
But, one day she was lying...
Outside in her cage..
When came an old flying...
Another feathered friend..
With a murderous frenzy...
Oh Lemo!! You misread..
The next scene is appalling...
I dare not envisage!!
Oh!!! I'm still missing...
My first bird friend..!!
Aqua and Lemo were adopted together

  I wish you could live longer..
But my wish can not come true..
I hope you get God's blessing..
My prayers are still with you!!
She is still angry about it 😛

From A Child


May be some day the parent’s will realise…
That when we fall, we learn to rise.. all by ourselves..
But moreover.. We, the childeren need to learn..
How to convince them.. without hurting them..
I really loved your poem nikki!! 🙂

Potpourri...

When I was born, you named me,

You decided good and bad for me…

When I grew up a bit,

You handed me a do’s n dont’s list…

I thought whatever you say is right,

and followed, with all my might…

But then, you thought you can control me,

and  whatever i dreamt of was vague to thee…

I tried explaining what i want,

You ignored and continued to daunt…

You think you knew the best for me,

But I feel you never understood me…

When I was persistent and tried to highlight my view,

You said I was manner less and not respecting you…

If that is what you think, then so be it,

and let my life be the way I want it…!

View original post


I’ll Try..


The only time I feel frustrated and helpless is when people, who are close to me (my family, my friends) do not get my drift. I’m going through the same right now. Every single nerve and muscle of my body, especially my brain.. is shouting at the top of its voice..

“I want you to understand what I am thinking right now..” 

 The only problem is I am not able to explain exactly what I am thinking right now. Now, this should not be a problem with a person who wants to become a famous writer/novelist/lyricist one day. But, it is! And this is because I don’t want to speak my brain out and yet want the listener to understand what it is thinking, on their own. Here, I am assuming that this person has a wonderful observation power and a keen intellect.

Another major reason for this is that my friends understand me so well. They just look into my eyes and get the point. or read my expressions and body language.. and at times the unintelligible words that i mumble impatiently!!

And today, I need the strength to speak it out, explain it to that person, whom I really want to get the picture clearly now. God bless me!!


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